Fertility Vacation 2.0 // How Do I Get Braver?

How do I become braver than I currently am? What is the practice?

I know I’m brave because I’m sitting here wiping away the tears. I’m willing to take risks and I’ve made it this far.

Maybe I keep trying to imagine how getting pregnant would change the rest of our lives? Diapers, pajamas, teenage hijinks; maybe that’s a way.

I feel like I’m lost in the hows and maybes.  

I’m not sure I’ll get on the plane.
I’m not sure if I’ll walk into the clinic.
I’m not sure I’ll give myself the shots.

It could lead to our dreams coming true, but I’m not sure I’m strong enough to do any of it.

My friend Vanessa sent me this text when I needed it most:

“Remember we are not people that allow fear to run our lives. Fear does not control you. YOU control the fear. That doesn’t mean not feeling it, that means not allowing it to make your decisions. This is your choice, and when I say yours, I mean your heart and soul. Choose to enjoy life with the man you love. Do not choose fear.”

1006.IMG_4738 (1).JPG