Fertility Vacation 2.0 // Hypnosis

During one my hypnosis sessions I was asked to visit one of my past lives. What I saw was myself back in time maybe 100 years ago, living in a coastal city in Portugal. I live alone. I do chores and kind of go through the motions and my life seems sad and lonely. My past self offers some advice. Alone is not better. It just seems safer, but in the long run, you are alone. I imagined her sadness and the loss of not being able to connect with other people to be stuck alone in your own head. I also had this other flash from a movie or the idea of the sound a mother makes when they lose their child - a wailing, a total heartbreak. A horrible sound.

We realized I had a fear of a child leaving or dying. I’m glad we had a chance to work on this because I want to let this fear go. I have loved and lost people in my life, but I know that it is worth it. I know I’ll be a better, healthier person with a healthier relationship with this concept.

There was enough of a theme in my life that my subconscious grabbed a hold of it and made pregnancy feel risky.

I am not sure how you reassure your self conscious, but I’m working on it.

When I was in Portugal I think I was imagining Lisbon. I haven’t been there before, but I was several floors up and there were windows and I could see other buildings and cobblestone roads. It had a certain visual.