Fertility Vacation 2.0 // Made to Be Happy

One of my close friends is worried I’m not strong enough to be pregnant or will find parenthood too much.

I’m not worried.

When I’m pregnant I will be so good at celebrating. I am made to be happy. It’s the most honest part of my personality. I will have this peaceful, calm.

Me and the universe will snuggle up to one another, exhaling and basking in the feeling of being “home”.  Finally letting go of the tinge of sadness or fear because this moment of belonging together is much more real than lying down broken hearted.

Of course, being pregnant will be challenging, but I can’t help but believe that the avalanche of joy that I will feel will shelter us. Me full of gratitude and hope is a powerful force.

Parenthood makes so much sense to me. Selflessly loving someone seems to be natural. Finally, my skills of trying hard and having a grateful attitude will be in my favor.

I want to be in this space now. I want to be in love with the world as I am. Even without having everything I want. I want to feel beauty in trying.

How do I live through this barrage of hormones and stay my sweet, powerful, free-spirited self?

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Street Photography -Copenhagen, San Miguel De Allende and Guadalajara

can't explain why these images go together.  They are a slow arc in the change of how i'm seeing things.  For so long I've lived in the beautiful watercolor world of backlighting.  It's defined me for so long that I'm struggling to find my voice and certainly how to find my new way to process images.  It takes me a while to know if I like something.  But every so often I'll find a shot and know it's just right for me.  I'm still looking for words to explain it.  I'm not sure how so many ideas can fit into one category but it seems to be really honest for me.  I wonder if I'm categorizing everything that isn't backlighting into one thing.  But I know it's more than that.  There's a certain feeling I get in my gut when I stumble upon a little gem and I feel so grateful immediately - a quiet happiness spreads and it makes me want to stay out side and shoot all day and never do paper work again.  I think in so many ways my love affair with photography is just beginning.

xoxo Suzanne

5 Somethings // Adventures & Secret Dinners

Something Lovely :: My mom and I spent the day at the park with Gaidin.  We went to Cardiff and met up with my dear friends Paul and Diana and their sweet son.  They spend much of their year traveling around the U.S. and Mexico, living out of their van and having amazing adventures.  I've known Paul since I was a kid and it's amazing to see him so happy and free.  I'd love to take a long epic road trip some day with Mike. 

Something Dreamy :: Iceland in June! I just found out that Jenna is going on a writing retreat in Iceland in April. How exciting! I'm so happy to be sharing a similar experience with her.

Something Captured :: Today, Mike and I are shooting a behind-the-scenes shoot for a friend of ours that organizes secret dinners.  Whiskey foxtrot tango, how cool is that?

Something New :: This week I'm starting the Shewanders rebranding process with Courtney of Brightly Designed.  I'm excited to share our new vision over the next few months and collaborate with such an incredible artist.

Something Challenging :: Allergies...I really thought I had gotten rid of them. San Diego, you beautiful sunny mess, what is going on?

xoxo

Suzanne and the Wanderers