Engaged Jen and Tyler

It was so fun to meet Jen and Tyler at their engagement session.  It's been fun to get to know these two on the phone and via email but finally I got the real deal.  I loved how fun and supportive they are of each other and how much they value creativity.  They are getting married at Underground Elephant as well.  I'm sure their guests are going to have an epic night.

Wahoo Suzanne

Happy Valentines Lovers

We've been working on some amazing things, and I want to share them with you. 

Sometimes, in the super busy of life, I can forget that it's ok to feel really good. To stop the shoulds and focus on what is beautiful in that moment. 

We have been curating a gallery of images that are meant to slow things down and to add beauty to your every day. We will be launching a shop soon and we are stoked about it.

I hope you feel really good this Valentine's Day and do something that adds beauty to your day. Here are a few dreams that are coloring our minds lately.

You Are Allowed.jpg

Fertility Vacation 3.0 // Why I Tell You Things

What if I collected images of when we were young, and now?

It’s been ten years, my love. We were young. The world was at our feet. One year, we traipsed around the globe so often, I begged you to leave me home for a trip to Australia, because I was too tired to go to the airport. Days later, we ran through the bush together, and marvelled at how wild the landscape became the second we got off the path. We were laughing, euphoric, and blissful to be in nature.

We realized, as dusk approached, that we didn’t actually know where we were. Eventually, you found our way back to the ocean while I came up with newspaper headlines about two dumb Americans who got lost on vacation one mile from civilization, and died.

The ocean was so loud and the moon lit our path. The strength of the wind made me grateful we had found our way back.

You couldn’t stop smiling, and kept hugging me so tight. We made out under the moonlight as the tide rose, and realized we were risking our lives for these salty kisses. We held hands, and continued on. It was one of the best days of my life.

We squeezed every last drop out of the day. That feeling of euphoria, gratitude, and wonder is the magic of falling in love with Mike Ofeldt. It is the grand adventure that is us.

I was at a party this weekend, and a friend of mine said he didn’t want to say how amazing his relationship with his wife is on social media. He just couldn’t see the point. It felt like bragging. What if instead, it was like shining a light on being wildly grateful, a snapshot.

Our fertility journey has taught me a lot. That life can be a mess, and there’s beauty in that too. This is our story. This is our heartbreak. There is an extraordinary beauty in telling people who you are, so they call you by your name. It’s tremendously difficult, but freeing. It helps me accept myself.

There is so much connection to the people who have read my story. I’ve shown them my heart. I’m wildly grateful for the outpouring of kindness and connection that I’ve received. For the friends that give me hope and strength to not give up.

This present moment holds an uncertain future, but ultimately some kind of knowing that we will survive it. Ten years worth of photographs of who we used to be when we were young. After awhile our memories fade, and then you might hear a song, and suddenly it’s like a movie is playing in your head. Falling in love with a man, and the whole world.     

Mike Ofeldt, you still look like a movie. You still feel like a song. Your voice is home to me. 

I love the things you do, the way you talk, the way you move. 

Let me photograph you in this light in case this is the last time. That we may be exactly as we were when we were young. You’re like a dream come true

Can I have this moment? 

I want to take this picture of you and I and Jake so later I can look back at it remembering when we were young, and scared, and planning our IVF dates. 

Wondering if there would still be eggs, wondering if we could ever finance a surrogate, wondering if we are completely insane, and preparing for the dunk tank of IVF hormones to come. 

Hoping I’ll still come back to you, to me, and still holding hands wildly grateful for each other. 

Wondering if we know anything at all other than fear and gratitude.

us.and.jake.balboa-1001.jpg

We are happy to offer three photography specials as a heartfelt thank you to those who support our GoFundMe fund to add to our family. We don’t know how we are going to get there or make this happen but we are going to walk confidently in the direction of our dreams and try with everything we have.  Thank you from the bottom of our hopeful hearts. Please check back for regular updates to our progress. 

Havana : Solo exhibition at La Valencia February 15

Hello wanderers! 

I so hope I will see you the opening of my solo exhibition at La Valencia.  The work will be on view for many weeks but it would be wonderful to see your face and share some wine and cheese.  Here are the details. 

Thursday, February 15 in the evening.  Time 5-7pm
La Valencia Hotel 1132 Prospect St, La Jolla, CA 92037
A wine and cheese reception will be held in the patio.
New limited edition work inspired by a recent trip to Havana Cuba. 
"There’s a joy in rediscovering an old friend.  I intuitively walked around the city hunting and collecting abstract patterns and motifs and small passages of time.  I love the mystery of what is behind the next corner.  I left the city transformed and my greatest is hope is that one day there will be much more of an exchange between our two countries and we will be great neighbors."

“Women in Photography; Our Visual Voice.” Group exhibition in San Diego

Hello wanderers!!

I wanted to let you know that I'm in a group show with 50 other San Diego women photographers.  I hope you can make it to our opening reception.  =)

Opening Reception for Visual Voice Photography Exhibit
Friday, February 9 at 6:30 PM - 8:30 PM
Luxe Gallery 1081 16TH ST, SAN DIEGO, CA 92101 (5th Floor)
Professional Photography has long been an industry dominated by men and we wish to show the evolution of the field and portray it’s current trends. We are celebrating women in photography by displaying beautiful samples of a variety of work in a photographic exhibit entitled, “Women in Photography; Our Visual Voice.” 

Join us for the show opening! This is a collaboration between San Diego Women in Photography, The Luxe Gallery of Photography at San Diego City College, Nelson's Photographic Supplies, and Miller's Professional Imaging. 

50 PHOTOGRAPHERS FEATURED
You can visit the gallery anytime from 2/9/18-3/8/18. The show is an excellent kickoff to 2018's National Women's History Month (March). The theme of which is NEVERTHELESS SHE PERSISTED. 

Photo credit Maryanne McGuire my partner in crime =)

San Diego Women's March 2018

Still I Rise

Maya Angelou, 1928 - 2014

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I’ll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
‘Cause I walk like I’ve got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I’ll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops,
Weakened by my soulful cries?

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don’t you take it awful hard
‘Cause I laugh like I’ve got gold mines
Diggin’ in my own backyard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I’ll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I’ve got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history’s shame
I rise
Up from a past that’s rooted in pain
I rise
I’m a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.

Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

Held. Thank you. #addingtotheofeldts

Held

Here we are wrapped up in your arms.  Grateful and overwhelmed.  Every day we are so much closer.  The sun is rising over our fears.  

I love this community.  It’s always been fun and collaborative with so many like minded artists/entrepreneurs.  But something shifted for me in 2008.  I stopped by my friend Peggi’s floral studio to say hello and she told me something that stopped me from breathing.  She said I have cancer and it’s a serious diagnosis.  She said more after that but I couldn’t hear her.  I just don’t know what she said after the word cancer.  She was calm and explained the situation in her soothing Peggi-like way but I couldn’t hear her.  I was too busy assessing the situation.  I understood….

  1. It was bad.

  2. She’s still standing, she seems strong somehow.

  3. I didn’t want to let her go.

  4. If she’s willing to be brave than I am willing to be brave.

  5. She’s a florist in the wedding industry she can’t afford to have cancer.  

  6. I want to help.

She was still talking and I probably interrupted her - I asked “Can I help?  Can I rally people for you?  If I do this people will know, are you ok with people knowing.?”

She said yes.  I exhaled.  OK good. I couldn’t deal with my feelings of losing her but I could fight for her.  I hugged her tight and said let’s fight this.  Let’s give it our all.  I didn’t know how but I knew why.  If you knew Peggi it was easy to know why she was one in a million and I was lucky enough to call her friend.

You wouldn’t believe what happened next.  Three people who didn’t even know Peggi offered to spearhead the team with me.  They didn’t know her but they knew they wanted to support her. Megan, Kate and Sabrina put in hundreds of hours and created a mini revolution (REVO).  My incredibly talented big hearted friend Nina had already created a non profit called REVO and we worked closely with her and used her platform to raise money through an auction.

The whole community rallied behind this auction.  People who loved Peggi and people that just knew of her and that she was one of us.  It was a miracle.  So many people donated that I often fell asleep emailing Sabrina and woke up to her responses.  Mike took over more duties at Shewanders and gave me the freedom to help.  The community rallied like no other.  Ultimately we lost Peggi but she left being held by all of us knowing she had touched so many hearts.

I’m reminded again how great this community is.  We are feeling held by you.  Infertility can feel like such a lonely and disappointing path.  It’s so hard to want a child and not know how to stop wanting one.  The last year and a half since we found out IVF was a possibility and that we were on a timer has been intense.  We have been trying to so hard to figure it out and keep running into negative test results.  It’s so heartbreaking.  Mike and I just want to say thank you.  Thank you for rallying behind us.  Thank you for your support.  I’ve been in a bit of a daze trying to figure out how to verbalize  what it feels like to be us being supported by all of you.  I’ll probably never have the right words - for now, from the bottom of our hopeful hearts just Thank You.  You’ll never know what this means to us.

Thank you for following our story and donating and sharing to our campaign

I just wanted to share some old blog posts down memory lane.

San Diego Style Weddings   Wynn Austin La Dolce Idea REVO weddings  Bob Hoffman Shewanders Jacqueline Ashley Events Rae Florae REVO love

and the REVO heroes

Our Vendors

REVOweddings was founded on the premise of community and commitment to the Wedding Industry.  The following Vendors have generously donated their services to REVOweddings in support of this year's sponsored member, Peggi Walker.  We're proud to share our Vendors with you and hope you'll take some time to get to know them as the leaders, and givers, that they are!

Coordination & Planning

A Diamond Celebration

A.R. Affairs

Bella Sera Events Design

Bliss Events

Darin Dietz Events

Elite Events Management

I Do...Weddings!

Joyful Weddings

La Dolce Idea

Le Chic Wedding Consulting

Leslie Miller Events

Memorable Days

Red Letter Days Events, LLC

Resolusean Events

San Diego Weddings by Gina

Simply Exquisite Weddings & Events

Sweet Ribbon Events

Thomas Bui Lifestyle

Waterfront Weddings

Wedding Elegance

Weddings By Design

Weddings Made Splendid

 

DJ's, Music & Entertainment

Advanced Entertainment
Artistic Productions
Austin Hendrix Productions
Elite British DJ
Jewell Entertainment
Tim Altbaum Productions

Florists, Décor & Design
Adorations Botanical Artistry
Branches Floral Studio
Classic Creations
Elegant Touch Floral Design
Embellishmint Floral Design
Organic Elements
Rae Florae
Sweet Pea Flower Company
The Magic Flower
White Wedding Day

Food & Catering Services
Anette Farrel
CAKE
Continental Catering
Dining Details
Joe's on the Nose
Mike Hogan Enterprises

Hair & Makeup Services
Mayer Studio's Inc.

Miscellaneous
Legacy 4 Life
Pamela's Parasol's
A Squared Roxs

Officiants
A Forever After Wedding
Ceremonies by Bethel
Deborah Davis, Custom Wedding Ceremonies
Elegantly Spiritual Ceremonies

Photographers
Aquario Studio
Carrie McCluskey Photography
Cool Cake Photography
Emilio Azevedo Photography
Evan Bishop Photography
Journey of the Lens
La Vida Creations Photography
Nina Brav Photography
Resolusean Photography
SheWanders Photography
Theorie
Wonderstruck Photography

Press & Publications
Exquisite Weddings Magazine
SanDiegoWedding.com
Sitting in a Tree
The Wedding Chicks

Rentals
Concepts Event Design
Dreams Do Come True

Shows & Events
Bridal Bazaar
The Wedding Party - Bridal Show

Stationery
Brightly Designed
Paper and Thread Studio
Pink Star Design Invitations
Vertical Printing

Venues
The Crosby Club
Villa de Flores

Videography
Bob Hoffman Video

Ode to a Violin in California by Pablo Neruda

A rainy night in San Diego is rare.  Sometimes I am so struck by the water on my windshield and I often feel like I'm in a painting.  I sometimes feel transported to the streets of Paris and think of Renoir but last night it was something else.  It felt more modern and I loved every red light and the parking lot that was the I8.  It felt a little like Pablo Neruda or maybe even Tom Waits. Maybe I was just feeling electric because I got a phone call from the Dog rescue that we could take Jake home.  Either way traffic and I had a love affair last night.  Thanks San Diego.

I sought that violin in the night.
I searched street by pitch-black street,
went house by weathered house,
star by star.
It faded
and fell silent
then suddenly surged,
. . . . . . . . . . .a flare
in the brackish night.
It was a pattern of incendiary sound,
a spiral of musical contours,
and I went on searching
street by street
for the dark violin’s
lifeline,
the source submerged in silence.
Finally, there
he was,
at the entrance to a bar:
a man and his
. . . . . .hungry violin.

Ode to a Violin in California by Pablo Neruda

Good bye 2017. Thank you.

Good bye 2017.

Thank you.

Thank you for making us stronger.

Thank you for giving us 10 eggs and 4 excellent embryos.

Thank you for two chances at IVF.

Thank you for gratitude, getting up, and finding ourselves again.

I hope that we have the guts to go after 2018 the way that we threw ourselves at 2017.  I hope our family grows.

I hope I find the same joy and comfort in watching Mike sleep.  I hope we find time for each other as the pressure to figure things out seems to speed up time.  I hope we find less to argue about and more beautiful discoveries to share.

I hope IVF 3 works.  I hope there will be eggs, embryos, conception, safe passage and one day a baby.  A healthy safe baby.  And if none of those things can happen, I hope the hormones fly out of me and leave me safe and sound.  I hope I can digest healthy food easily and take pleasure in moving my body.  I hope I photograph, paint, swim in the ocean, feel my heart beat and gasp for air as a wave crashes over my head.  I hope I heal and get out of the house and find some safe space out in the world and not hiding in the house.  I hope after some time I recoup my energy and start on some other path.  I hope there’s always enough of me left to try again.

Dear 2018,

Dear 2018,

Please don’t break my heart. I’m wearing my heart on my sleeve. I’m looking at you. I’m staring at you right in the face. I’m begging you not to break my heart.

We are going to try iVF again.  Is three times the charm?  I guess we are about to find out.  I want to know, will our hearts be broken again?

Some questions aren’t necessary.

Will it be worth it?  

Is it worth having our hearts broken?  

Yes, it’s always a resounding yes.  

Of course it is.

Because what if . . .

What if  . . .

We have a little babe come safely into this world?  What if we are those people wearing matching pajamas by the Christmas tree.  What if we get to call our parents and say the baby is coming . . . The baby is here . . .  It’s a boy or it’s a girl . . .

Every year I wish for the same sort of things. To hold Mike’s hand as we walk around new cities and small towns taking photographs, finding the best cappuccino, exploring museums and the outdoors, listening to music and having good times with our loved ones.  It’s always the most important aspect of my life to celebrate our lives together - to be grateful for what we have.

But lately I’m not myself. Lately, I’m so focused on the baby we don’t have instead of all the blessings we do have. It’s such a painful way to live.

Maybe there will never be another Ofelt, but 2018 will get us one step closer to knowing - yes or no. I hope I find myself again at the other side of this journey. My greatest hope is that there are three of us, but if everything fails I hope there is at least two of us.  Not the scared reaching version of myself I’ve become, but the vibrant grateful person I used to be.

So 2018, let me be her again. Let me find myself. Let me be grateful, kind, and healthy. Let me rally the strength, hope and beauty in this world. It’s such a worthwhile cause. It’s our most beautiful life.  Let me lift myself up. Let me be the Suzanne that began this journey.

xoxo

Change me Universe into one who is willing to receive all the right help, knowing each person, animal, thing is a form of you.  Let me feel deserving of Divine assistance in every way.  Open me to receive.  -Tosha Silva

 

Shewanders.newyork112.JPG

Fertility Vacation 3.0 // What if it works out?

If I could read your mind love,

What a tale your thoughts could tell

Just like a paperback novel

The kind the drugstore sells

When you reach the part where the heartaches come

Come the hero would be me

Heroes often fail

And you won't read that book again

Because the ending's just too hard to take

-Gordon Lightfoot

Some people wonder why we keep trying. Why, when we can do whatever we want with our lives, would we choose to keep putting our hearts on the line?

That’s such an odd question to me. I think of our friends with kids, and the families we photograph, and see certainty there. Of course we would dedicate our lives to these little ones. We would do whatever it takes.

This is our third and final swing at the ivf game. Here we are - our lives still in tatters from round one and two and here we go again. Here I am knowing this is our last shot down this path.

I’m asking my spirit once again, help me be strong enough to make this happen again, and let it be ok regardless of the outcome. We are looking for hope, faith, belief in trying to be steady, stable, and strong. Searching for the how, but clear on the why.  

I’m sadder and more afraid than I’ve ever been, but what if ultimately there’s a baby to have breakfast with, and someone to share in the delight of life with?

What if it works out?  Would you still think we are crazy for trying?

 

2Z9A7715.JPG